Vestiges

Hate

I do

the residue

of love

lost.

Stuck tight

leech-like

not on fresh wounds, but

scar tissue.

Or clung on

(grime of past time)

to a single facet

(recalcitrant)

clouding up

the strange shine

of a blue

but clear

crystal of truth.

Hate you

I do

lost love

your

residue.

The Legitimate Late Paper

I’m running fast in my flip flops

Down the sidewalk

My ears are blocking out the sound

Of all the raindrops -

The drums are beating, instead

Tick tock, tick tock,

Synchronized with mental metronomes:

My multiple alarm clocks.

I’m reaching the line of the dead

My limbs are zombie as I approach

Facts swirl in my head

My eyes are glossy with reproach

No sleep, no food, but my heart still pounds

And even more pressure mounts

As I trudge up this hill,

Commanding my emotions to please! sit still.

But

Suddenly, my pace of haste

Digs its heels in the ground,

The fiery friction beneath my feet

Slows me to a halt-

Suddenly, I'm witness

To a beautiful assault:

Rays searing raindrops

With the sharpest blade of radiance

Making them bleed Roy G Biv

Drip drop, drip drop

On this monotone body cadence -

Pores of my sleepless skin

Wake with revived color

This absorption is a win

Though tardiness is marked as sin

Even the leaflets that I grasp

Are pleased at my lively clasp

And my lungs praise the breaths I take

Cooling my heart's stressed shake.

Then I break my usual tense stride

And walk calmly, with peculiar pride -

It is twenty minutes past four

But it doesn't matter anymore

Because I just got to delve

Into a phenomenon I adore.

The Sleeping Giant Never Woke

I yearned for the stripes of saffron, green, and white

and the twenty-four spokes of the centered wheel

But when I finally descended from air

I didn't hear the strikes of wind on fabric

anywhere.

I longed for the voices of the youth to raise

and bellow, with passion, for cause or for praise

But instead I heard perfunctory chatter

of logistics, labels, and other such things

that don't matter.

I pined for the invigorating spirits

and the earth that they walked before their necks were strung

But when my feet brazed the freshness of the dirt,

the smell of rotting concern distracted me,

and the path became inert.

It truly is a shameful story

when the tears and

the sweat and

the deaths

before 1947

no one here knows

or cares to.

Stressed, Sleepy, and Serene

School has me completely stressed out. I just finished taking my first exam of the semester (cell bio), and I have no clue how I did. I have a Shakespeare exam tomorrow, and I'm doomed to fail because I haven't read any of the plays. Then, I have a huge exam on Tuesday for a class that I am VERY lost in.

Sigh.

But for some weird reason I've been feeling really serene. It's weird...being stressed out but serene at the same time. Usually when I'm stressed, I'm overly emotional (crying, anger bouts, etc), but not recently.

I'm in Modern British and American Poetry class right now. I think William Butler Yeats is a bit degrading to women sometimes. It's strange...he seems sweet but at the same time he's condescending. You know what really bothers me about him? His obsession with Maude Gonne. For one, he wrote many poems about them even after he got married. Also, he seems so averse to Maude Gonne's involvement in politics. I guess I don't know much, but I feel that Maude must have felt passionate about politics, and if Yeats really loved her, he would have supported anything that she puts her heart in. Isn't that what love is? He just seems to be obsessed with her because he just wants her with him, wants her to yield, or whatever.

He's good writer though. Too bad that I cut good writers a bit of slack.

Anyway, I'm dead sleepy right now. I really want to escape...and I actually have a new escape that I've been escaping to every Friday for the past couple of weeks. I just can't let myself go there until I finish my exam on Tuesday. I'll reveal what it is and where it is when I go there next....it's too important to just mention in passing.

Hmmnnn...I'm feeling poetic.

Love,

Gowri

PS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN NOZUKA! I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE WE GET MARRIED SOMEDAY.

Fighting Tears

pearls are falling as you speak

Mother,

pearls are falling as you speak

much too quickly for me to sweep

much too quickly for me to keep

from shattering silently against the ground -

but I can hear their sound.

iridescent splatter after splatter,

Mother

iridescent splatter after splatter,

they splash when I utter a fighting word

they splash against my verbal sword

with a delicacy so easily unheard -

but to slash a pearl would be absurd.

pearls are falling as you speak,

Mother,

pearls are falling as you speak

they collect at my feet as our red eyes meet

they collect at my feet and make me entreat

that no more should be lost in my trivial heat -

today I pause,

and they mark my defeat.

Poetry (after inspiration from Rives)

Red Rose
By: Gowri Nadmichettu
May 4th, 2010

Red roses represent love,
they say,
red roses represent undying, romantic love -
if someone gave me a red rose
I'd be thrilled
but only if it came with a chunk of earth
adhered to its roots
because a red rose only grows
with a bit of terrain to its claim
so you should probably hand me my red rose in a pot
cut it and it will rot
wither away and lose its living color
carry its desiccated seeds away to another
yeah, so I'd like a pot with my red rose
filled with soil and rich in whatever it takes
to keep that red rose alive
making sure it won't wilt with with some new gust
or lose each fragrant petal
to some new-found lust.
I'd like a pot with my red rose
so that I can water it affectionately everyday
instead of placing it in a vase with one careless fill
and merely hope that its charm won't go away.
and another thing:
don't strip that rose of its thorns
because each spike it sprouts
and each time it shears
someone's skin and causes some tears
that stem only gets tougher, more resilient
and those petals only stay abloom
for longer
So please, no cutoff
and no arranged bouquet, I plead
A red rose in a pot with soil and all its thorns intact
is all that I'll ever need.

Best Day Ever

Part I

This entire day has been absolutely splendid! Sure, I know I skipped bio, but guess where I went? NEW YORK! For the first time EVER.

Why did I go to New York, you ask? TO MEET MY HUSBAND JUSTIN NOZUKA! He played at the Hiro Ballroom at Maritime Hotel! The entire day went in taking the bus from DC to NY and me frantically getting as much homework done as possible before the concert. Tina and I kept having to take extra precautions to keep our hair intact as fluctuating precipitation decided that it was okay to do its thing today.

At exactly 4pm we got off the bus and I opened my eyes to a beautiful city. It really is beautiful! I love crowded places! Everywhere we turned I could see flower vendors - one was even selling hibiscuses! It got me really pepped up. We made our way to a Best Buy so I could buy Justin's CD. Unfortunately they only had Holly in stock - his latest CD was no where to be found. When we asked for help, of course no one recognized his name. Too bad for them!

Either way, we found a bathroom at cosi, and after walking for about an hour (this takes into account the times we got slightly lost), we found the venue! There was already a few people lined up at around 5:00pm! Tina and I hurriedly ate what we could at a nearby subway and prepared ourselves.

The night before I drafted a letter that I wanted to give Justin. Aside from being a fan girl, which I totally am, I just wanted to tell him how I felt about his lyrics, his music - just everything about him that inspires me - so I did so in a letter. At subway I wrote the final draft and I folded it up as neatly as I could, for there was no envelope in sight.

Meanwhile, Tina held my place in line till I finished the letter. I looked absurd as I pulled out my gigantic makeup bag and started the long process of getting ready in the rain. Tina was being hilarious by staring into my face as I was putting on eyeliner, so the entire time in line we were laughing. We made some friends in line who I hope to find on twitter soon!

Before we knew it, doors were about to open. I could feel the adrenaline rush already! The coordinator emphasized "age 18" being the youngest age to enter the venue. He was pretty funny, had a air of humor to him! I listened with a smiling expression - suddenly he turned to me and said, "Hey you lookin at me funny! You aren't 18 or over are you?"

"I am!" I pleaded with embarrassment.

"Uh huh....sure you are!"

Later he came by and said, "Look here it's the 16 year-old, better get your ID out!"

"I'm 20! Oh my god!" I retorted.

It was all in light-hearted fun, I guess.

Tina and I took a bunch of pictures until we finally made it through to the ballroom. We were about 3 rows from the front! It was exciting! Rohma caught up to us about an hour later! We bonded with the people around us - everyone was eagerly awaiting Justin's presence on stage.

-----------------------

Part II

Alpha Rev did the opening act. They were great! There was a really cool violinist who used a blue violin and then a green violin the entire time! He was really rocking it out! The songs were catchy too.

They ended at 9:00pm. Sound check had to happen again. LONGEST SOUND CHECK EVER. The wait reminded me of me waiting for Orgo class to be over last semester. Then, we heard screaming! And you know what that means at a concert...Justin was in somebody's line of sight. My eyes searched desperately for a glimpse of him as his band members made their way up to the stage. I saw him finally climb up and strap his guitar on; my reaction, of course, was deafening. My ears gained their function back when the music commenced – thump, thump, thump. God I hope he'll sing Gray first, I thought frantically during periods of near-unconsciousness. And that's exactly what he sang! He cued to the sound guy to turn up the mic a bit...but either way he and his band sounded grand.

“Good evening,” he said (in that ridiculously dreamy voice of his). I kept on screaming. He sang Mr. Therapy Man next, which was the song that made me fall in love with him. “I love you Justin!!!” I bellowed afterward. “I love you Justin!” a guy mimicked.

He talked about his time on David Letterman, which took place the night before! I totally missed it – which is annoying because I always watch the stand-up part and at least catch who the guest artist is, but I guess I totally didn't that time. After sharing his story he continued playing his soul out...Carried You, Swan in the Water, Be Back Soon – we didn't know when we could put up our “Justin, Marry Me” signs because the lights kept fading each time a song ended, and we didn't want to put them up in the middle of a song because we didn't want him to get distracted either. We finally decided to put it up during one of the more romantic songs.

Right when we made that decision, everyone left the stage, and people chanted “Justin! Justin! Justin!” He came back, but without the other band members. It was solo acoustic time! We put our signs up towards the end of After Tonight; his twinkling eyes suddenly shifted our way and he whispered the words “Marry Me” right before he ended the song. We almost died.

One of the songs off of his new album which I'd only heard twice before the concert, How Low, really got me thinking – partially because I wasn't sure what exactly his metaphor represented, or if it was a metaphor at all. Justin began to introduce the song, “This song is called How Low, and a wrote it because I was thinking about the ocean, and I wondered if ----”

“Justin just sing Criminal!” an annoyingly loud and rude guy screamed from the audience.

“What did you say?” Justin chuckled.

The annoying guy repeated himself.

“Oh, I thought you said 'just sing Justin' – I was gonna say...” Justin laughed.

Then he proceeded to strap his guitar on, without finishing the background of How Low and what it means to him. He seemed a little hurt, but his attitude was so positive he played it off like it didn't matter.

How Low was definitely the highlight of the show. He sang it beautifully – he enunciated every word with not just voice, but soul. Not sure if it was just me being star-struck, but the light really made him look like there was a halo around him - but he performed the song so well that even if I had my eyes closed I'd have felt like I missed nothing at all. It was a perfect rendition.

The show went on. Heartless was great. What was even better was that he sang Don't Listen to a Word You've Heard, the “secret” song in Holly that everyone skips over because it literally is not listed as a track. It's one of his best songs, and definitley one of the songs the I relate to most. Heartless was the last song he sang, I think. Everything was great. He surprisingly didn't sing Save Him or You I Wind Land and Sea. But nothing lacked. It was a PERFECT show – dare I say even better than the last time I saw him.

The show ended at 11pm. I had to meet him. Again.

-----

***unfinished.