Misfit

I am usually
a prim and proper
noun, standing tall
in every sentence –
no tittles or cross strokes
reaching the height of
my definition –

but some days are different:

the paragraphs are tight
they don’t leave room
for any subject
I cite,
not even in the space
of indentations

so I linger
without transition

between margins
and sometimes
I feel

my letters
disassemble,

their eyes
zone out
or maybe
well up with tears

finials
taper even more
becoming invisible

legs and arms start to
wilt
leaving blotches of ink
on the text intact

I feel the irrelevance
of me

I definitely feel
the irrelevance
of me

juxtaposed

with the contents of a rule book
that I never really understood.

Just expunge me, please.
Paint over me thickly
with the most concealing
whiteout.

Neverendings

I never miss you
because we hold hands
in everseconds -
no ticks
no tocks -
just endless time,
together.

No alarm! Just
the darling we
of you
and me
(awakened
perpetually) -
as the we
of you
and me
cannot ever be

a memory.

Painful Recovery

If you love me

stab me

with the truth.

This will hurt less
than bandaging me

with lies

numbing me
softly

and then forcing me
to peel them all off

a day too much later.

Changing Scenery

I haven’t sat here

since the day you told me
you didn’t feel the same

but something about it
has changed.

The table is still metal black
the seats are still oddly cold
but the sunlight has made it new somehow –
everything is plated in gold.

I would be forced to pass this place before
and get a strange knot in my throat
but right now I’m leaning, scribbling, humming a song
and my smile is staying afloat.

The tree in front of me
is poised just like I am
its leaves are relaxed and ruffling

and the mourning dove is not mourning
the rush of cars isn’t rushing
there isn’t a single cloud overhead
and there are blades of luscious green
between bricks of stony red.

There is a smile in the stiffness
of the kingfisher’s narrow beak
there is cheer in the flutter
of the sparrow’s shower
there is love in the glide
of the starling’s wings
and in my writing hand

there is power.

Go Ahead

seal my windows with the

blackest of curtains
force night
upon my heydays
and then
when the zen
of night commences
and stars glimmer
on a cerulean ceiling
drown me
in caffeine
shine me
with white lights

but remember
a part of me
is still circadian

there is a sun
in my skull
and there is a moon
in each eye

there is a song looping
through my veins
there is percussion
setting my bones
and the city beat
drums on
against my endless
heartsky.

Deal Breaker

It's not worth the pain

if our laughter was never loud

in the eye-rolling crowd.

After Four Years

I’m picking hearts off the wall

pink ones and yellow ones
made of construction paper
symmetrical and scattered

and with them go my postcards -
Spain, France, and England -

my portraits in red ink
(in constant self-revision)

and love poems and bumper stickers which say concisely
precisely what I believe.

I’m picking stars off the wall
each one filled in sharpie ink
with words of the greats

and then I take down letters
and cards, decorated so artfully
by people who were even there
through the tearful nights
they never saw.

I’m putting all of this in a narrow box
that fits every shape, size, and color

and I’m leaving it open

because I know nothing will fall out.

I’m sitting on this sheetless bed
and staring at walls I forgot were white. 

Five Stars Without a Twinkle

The mood right now isn’t coffee-shop

or fancy-elevator-ride,

Darling, it’s raining neon colors

and flooding liquid gold outside!

Sorry, I couldn’t get my dress tailored

or buy those achromatic heels,

but I bought these flip flops freshly tattered

for special occasions like these!

So please, let’s leave this tinted glass

and barge through the chiming door;

this napkin of silk you’ve draped across my lap

is setting us up for a lengthy bore:

Look, it catches the spills and rifts in class

but it can’t catch the thundering breeze;

and the polished silverware on the marble tabletop?

It’s just too hard to please.

Poem Transfer

I've decided to transfer everything I wrote for pedij.tumblr.com to this blog. Sorry for not posting anything for so long - I've been writing, I swear! :) First, I'll post everything I wrote in June/July, and then I'll gradually get to things I've written afterwards.